HoneyBunny Hard at Work

HoneyBunny got to go to work with me today since it's Saturday. She really didn't get a lot accomplished, though...

Silly, Fun Tests

Tonight I visited Hope's blog and saw that she took a test at BlogThings. It looked fun and I was in a silly mood and took the following two tests:

What Finger Are You?

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable. You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it. You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it. You get along well with: The Thumb Stay away from: The Ring Finger

What Finger Are You?

What Does Your Name Mean?

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Sometimes it's fun to take silly tests. I wish the statistics tests were like this!

Praying to the Porcelain Gods

I was at home again today. Last night my bed was the toilet and I was sick as a dog. I started feeling better last night until after eating dinner. I didn't eat much, but it was enough to make me ill all over again.



I'll be working all weekend to make up the time. Ugh...

I am SO Sick of Bathrooms!

Last night in statistics I got sick. No, I don't mean sick of the class, I mean physically sick. I ended up going to the bathroom MANY times and then got home and was in the bathroom the rest of the night. I wasn't able to go to work today. I'm feeling a bit better as long as I don't eat.

I'm feeling a bit better emotionally. Maybe I was just getting sick yesterday which made me feel a bit down. I have no idea, but I'm better.

I'm sure most of you have heard of Lily Allen, but I just learned about her tonight. She is a musician from England and is quite artistic. If you haven't seen her, watch her latest video called, "Alfie". It made me laugh quite a bit!

Melancholic Today

I am at the university waiting for my statistics class to start. I am so very tired today. I worked, rushed to school through major traffic jams and am now waiting to start a four-hour, mind-numbing class. By the time I get home it will be 10:30pm, and I'll run to take a shower and collapse into bed in order to start another day.

I'm not very happy today. I think I'm just tired. In a way I feel a bit down. Melancholic is more the word. I wouldn't say all the way depressed, but I am down. I need to watch myself and be very aware so that I don't hurdle through the downward spiral.

Ugh....

Have You Ever Cried at a Wedding?

The wedding was wonderful. I have never cried at a wedding until today. I couldn't believe that I cried because I certainly didn't expect it! I just couldn't believe that she was getting married. I had a myriad of emotions which I will post at a later date.

Have you ever cried at a wedding?

Fifteen Years Ago Today

This picture is my favorite picture of my daughter and I together. I am posting this picture because fifteen years ago today my daughter was born. She was born at 3:12am at 8 pounds, 12 ounces and 21 1/2 inches. I will never forget that early morning. I had been in labor for twenty-two hours and developed a fever of 105 degrees Fahrenheit. The doctors performed an emergency c-section and whisked her away to the newborn unit without letting me hold her. I never cried, screamed, or shouted obscenities during the entire labor process; however, when they whisked her away and wouldn't let me hold her, I completely had a mental meltdown.



I was shaking due to the fever and needed to be administered antibiotics. Somehow I had gotten an infection in the hospital while being in labor with her which caused the fever to spike. By that time I was completely tired and worn out. My emotions ran amuck and I started yelling for her father to come to me (he was signing paperwork in another room). He ran to me and I screamed that they wouldn't let me hold my baby. I cried and was horribly upset.



After being in the recovery room for six hours, they finally wheeled me down to my room in a gurney. They stopped in front of the newborn unit and held my daughter up for me to see her. She was screaming at the top of her lungs. I begged to hold her. Finally, they wheeled my gurney halfway into the room and gave her to me. I reached for her and held her tight. I remember staring at her with complete and utter wonder. She had been crying, but amazingly enough stopped crying while I held her. I swear to God she knew that it was me. She actually looked up into my eyes and just stared at me. I felt such an intensely strong connection. Words did not need to be spoken between us. We knew that we belonged together. I remember breaking into tears. That moment was heavy with emotion and completely defined the rest of my life.



I thank God for my daughter. I don't know where I would be without her. She is so very sweet, humorous, kind, compassionate, creative, and wise. I love her so much. As I write this I am crying at the thought that in three years she will be finished with high school. I cannot imagine life without seeing her every day. Pretty soon she will be starting the adventure of her own life. I am not ready for this.



I am writing this while at work. It's times like this that really upset me because I feel I haven't spent enough time with her. It's 6:45pm and I'm still at work. Before I know it she'll be gone and I won't remember what I was doing at work years from now. I will remember that I worked too much and didn't spend enough time with her. I feel very guilty about that. On one hand I need to work because every minute I work I get paid and we desperately need the money due to our financial situation. On the other hand I couldn't care less about the money and want to spend all of my time with her. I wish that I could home school her. I wish that I could be that Mom who has cookies ready when she gets home. I wish I could be that Mom who was there day and night.



I wish, I wish...as she grows, and grows...