I found quite a few old poems that I wrote years ago. I posted my poems on an old website I created way before blogging ever started. It's interesting to me how though years pass, thoughts and feelings can remain. I'll post some of these old poems over time as I feel like it.
Here is one to start it off:
The feeling lives in my soul like maggots feasting on meat. The feeling of being miserable is so much a part of me....
Sometimes depression engulfs me and I feel as if I've been swallowed by a black hole. I'm totally lost - there's no light and I'm exhausted from the quick journey into it.
I no longer cry out for help. I used to, and as a result, got further to the center of that void. The center is called Death and I think it would give me peace. I have tried to journey there, however the survivor who lives in the cold, lonely corner of my soul would free itself from the chains and remind me she's there. Then, like a beacon, she'd point me back through the Hell until, with her help, I would crawl out of that hole.
I thank God for her. I just hope one day I can make her proud. Maybe then she can live in a nice, warm, lit room in the middle of my soul and celebrate because we both lived through it all.
Note (wrote this note when I was 29...I am now 37 and feel the same):
I cannot remember what age I was when I wrote this poem. I think I was 19 and living in Scotland at the time. What I find most surprising is though I am nearly 30, I still feel the exact, same way in certain moments of my life. Time doesn't change everything.