Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Needing a Revolutionary Life

Didn't go to work today. Woke up this morning worse than yesterday. Dizzy, hacking and coughing and feel very weak. It would have been better if I didn't go to work yesterday at all and just rested for one more day because last night after getting home from work I felt worse than I had two days previously. So, I called into work and let them know. Not sure what they are thinking. It's obvious to them that I am sick because even yesterday my new manager told me that I should go home because I could hardly talk without coughing. I hope she understood when I called in this morning and doesn't think anything bad about me.

Once again, here I am starting a job and getting sick as a dog. Thank goodness it's not depression this time, but being sick like this hasn't been cake either. I don't remember feeling so bad physically for a long time.

I took an Ambien tonight with a glass of wine so that I will be able to sleep well in order to get up early and get my butt to work.

One annoying thing going on as well is that I have my monthly and I shouldn't have it. I am taking birth control pills named "Ceasonal" and basically you take them for three months straight so you won't have your period. With my period terrors I really wanted to try this to see if it would help. The weirdest thing is that I'm now in week 8 and I started my period! At first it was just a little and I had no pain or emotional issues. Then today the pain is arching down my stomach past my knees like lightning bolts. I then started wondering if it is affecting me mentally without me realizing it. Maybe that is why I thought about downing the bottle of Ambien yesterday for no reason. I have no clue.

Right now I'm just in pain and there is quite a bit of period going on when there should be NONE...NADA..ZILCH. So, I am a little confused with these meds. If anyone has taken Ceasonal, please let me know what your experiences with it have been. I thank you in advance.

While sick I've been reading the book called "Revolutionary Road". Great read, but it really makes me think a lot about my own life and how I need a change. I need to just sell everything and move to Scotland. That was the only place I felt at home. Maybe I will do that as soon as my daughter graduates. Or maybe before then. Who knows...I just need to change things in my life. It will help me mentally, that's for sure.

 
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