Sunday, September 23, 2007



This is my dog named HoneyBunny. Now, the reason that I am showing this picture is because you need to see what she usually looks like. She is a toy poodle and is 5 pounds. She is very tiny, very sweet, very intelligent and I just love her so very much. She has been a wonderful companion to me and we have become quite close over this past year (she is a year and two months old).

When I am depressed, this little angel disguised as a dog sleeps and lays down with me when I can't get out of the bed.

About a month ago she had an operation and the veterinarian said not to give her a bath until she completely healed, which was approximately 10 days. I normally give her a bath and groom her every weekend, but wasn't able to for awhile because her stitches did not heal very well and it took longer than expected for her to get better. She absolutely abhors grooming and doesn't like to even be brushed. Her hair is like cotton candy (or as they say "candy floss" in the UK) and mats very easily. I didn't want to bother her with brushing her because I knew she felt poorly, so she didn't get brushed and over time mats developed. Well, I say over time, but really in no time at all she had mats all over and then I really didn't want to brush her until she felt like it.

Today I was finally able to groom her because her stitches are out and she is able to be groomed. The bad news is that the mats were so bad in some areas that I finally had to break down and shave her with clippers. I was heartbroken to do this because I have been been grooming her for a year and her hair was really starting to get long and she had one of those cute poodle cuts. It has taken forever to grow out the hair on her head, ears and little tail, so I tried to save the hair in those areas.

Now she looks absolutely hilarious...I told my husband that she looks like an '80s rock star and he said that she favors Andy Warhol. This is what she looks like now. Make sure you go to the bathroom first before seeing the picture so you don't wet yourself laughing...

Ta Da!



I Don't Know Why...

but I feel a tad bit better today. That is the thing most tiring about's inconsistency. There have been times where I felt better than ever before and then it hit me and I was thrown down into a dark pit of hell again.

I remember when I used to feel better and would actually think to myself that the depression was gone and I was "cured". Then it would start up again and I would be sad and disappointed about it. Now I'm just so sick of it that even when I do feel better I wonder how long it will be before it hits again.

I am at the point where I actually visualize depression as this thing running very close behind me and I have to run like hell to keep ahead of it or it will bite my butt. And when it bites me, I'll be back in the bed with the covers of despair wrapped around me like bandages on a mummy.

I realize that this is not a good way to think because I am actually attracting negative energy when I'm being negative. However, it's difficult not to think that way when you just continue to get sick over and over again.

My husband and I are doing better. I talked with him last night while he was at his job and told him that I was just tired of it all. He called me back afterwards and told me that he wanted me to feel better and not go to bed feeling badly. Today he has been in a better mood and that is always helpful.

The thing about my husband is that he is so great to hang out with and I love him dearly. It's just the drama that evolves at times really makes me feel bad. It's difficult to walk on eggshells and that is what I do sometimes.

Oh well...I guess that is life. It's like weight and money...sometimes you lose and sometimes you gain. The only consistent thing about life is its' inconsistency.

template by