Just got back from the second interview and am now back in the office of Hell. While sitting in the interview this morning it felt entirely refreshing to see a company who actually cares about quality, cares about their employees, and wants to do things right the first time. Not only that, the people there are highly intelligent. I enjoy working for highly intelligent people because you can always learn something from them. For the last two years I felt like I've worked with do-do brains. I am not badmouthing anyone, but a lot of people here just don't make sense.
I haven't even blogged about my experiences at work because I never saw a point in it. It just fed my depression. Not that I don't feed my depression enough with all of these depressing posts, but at least I'm trying to be cathartic about it when blogging. I can't be very cathartic about it when talking about my present job because there's not much to be changed about it other than the job itself.
There are six people at the place I interviewed at today who I used to work with years ago. One of them I worked with six years ago at one company while the other five I worked with 13 years ago at another company. I love all of them. I enjoyed working with all of them. It's wonderful to be with them and I realized yesterday why. These people think that I do great work. They worked with me for years in the past and know what I am capable of. They knew me before the claws of depression sinked it's claws firmly into the middle of my soul. Don't get me wrong. I've always had depression, even as a child. It's just that I was able to mask it very well in the past and could always manage it. If these people knew that I had depression they would be shocked. They think that I am positive, outgoing, nurturing (the 5-person group that knew me used to call me a "mother hen"), and can get any job done before the deadline. They don't know the "sick Catherine". They don't know me as the girl who is constantly having terrible depressive episodes, horrible PMS and who gets some type of mental or physical illness all of the time. They know me as the "healthy Catherine" and what a refreshing way to be known once again!
I am worried that if I do get the job my depression will still be bad and it will affect my performance and attendance. I don't want to let these people down. I don't want to let myself down. I am hoping that if I do get the job and if the job is what I think it is, I will finally enjoy what I do and that will make a huge difference in my mental and emotional state.
The interview went very well, I didn't stumble in answering any questions, and actually, it was....fun. Very odd, really because I didn't expect it to be. I really enjoyed myself and it was great meeting the two people I interviewed with today. Now I am more excited about getting the job than I was before. That can be a bad thing because the more excited you are, the further you can fall if it doesn't pan out. I am concerned about the pay. They haven't said anything about it just yet and I don't expect them to. If they are interested in me someone in HR will contact me and then we'll go through that discussion. I have no idea what they are expecting to pay and if what I make is comparable to it. In my last job interview a few months ago they wouldn't pay what I currently make by a lot and I couldn't take the job. I hope this doesn't occur again.
The last thing they said at the interview while I shook their hand was, "We'll be in contact very soon". Is that a good thing? What do you think?
