Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Needing a Revolutionary Life

Didn't go to work today. Woke up this morning worse than yesterday. Dizzy, hacking and coughing and feel very weak. It would have been better if I didn't go to work yesterday at all and just rested for one more day because last night after getting home from work I felt worse than I had two days previously. So, I called into work and let them know. Not sure what they are thinking. It's obvious to them that I am sick because even yesterday my new manager told me that I should go home because I could hardly talk without coughing. I hope she understood when I called in this morning and doesn't think anything bad about me.

Once again, here I am starting a job and getting sick as a dog. Thank goodness it's not depression this time, but being sick like this hasn't been cake either. I don't remember feeling so bad physically for a long time.

I took an Ambien tonight with a glass of wine so that I will be able to sleep well in order to get up early and get my butt to work.

One annoying thing going on as well is that I have my monthly and I shouldn't have it. I am taking birth control pills named "Ceasonal" and basically you take them for three months straight so you won't have your period. With my period terrors I really wanted to try this to see if it would help. The weirdest thing is that I'm now in week 8 and I started my period! At first it was just a little and I had no pain or emotional issues. Then today the pain is arching down my stomach past my knees like lightning bolts. I then started wondering if it is affecting me mentally without me realizing it. Maybe that is why I thought about downing the bottle of Ambien yesterday for no reason. I have no clue.

Right now I'm just in pain and there is quite a bit of period going on when there should be NONE...NADA..ZILCH. So, I am a little confused with these meds. If anyone has taken Ceasonal, please let me know what your experiences with it have been. I thank you in advance.

While sick I've been reading the book called "Revolutionary Road". Great read, but it really makes me think a lot about my own life and how I need a change. I need to just sell everything and move to Scotland. That was the only place I felt at home. Maybe I will do that as soon as my daughter graduates. Or maybe before then. Who knows...I just need to change things in my life. It will help me mentally, that's for sure.

8 comments:

lettersfromexile said...

It's funny, I think my life would be improved immeasurably if I moved to California =)
And if I was rich.
The greyness of Scotland, the way the weather creeps into your bones, gets me down sometimes. I'd rather be somewhere sunny and warm.

But of course, we take our problems with us wherever we go. There's no getting away from them.

I'm sorry to hear you're still ill and hope you feel better soon. I hope your family are taking good care of you.

One good thing about Scotland at least: we know how to do sock puppet theatre.

Anonymous Drifter said...

I can relate to the misery of the monthly unwanted guest. I don't know anything about the medication you're on but it must be frustrating for you to have a period when you've fully expected none. I was given an injection before that was supposed to stop my period for 3 months to give my endometriosis a rest. It ended up that I had my period non-stop for those 3 months and it nearly drove me out of my mind!

I hope you're feeling better soon.

Karen ^..^ said...

Your period could definitely have related to the Ambien thoughts yesterday, I know I get ten times less rational when I'm in the midst of mine. Ugh. Horrible time of the month.

I hope you don't have pneumonia. Have you been to the doctor yet? You may need antibiotics.

GO TO THE DOCTORS.

I'd love to move to Scotland too.

Anywhere in the UK, actually.

HappyStill said...

I can hear where you are coming from with the monthly curse! My doc now thinks that it may be the cause of my anaemia. She put me on something called Cylkopron. This has lightened mine considerably and eased the other symptoms. Its only a temporary measure as they are now discussing a mirena coil.
I am not sure if thats the way I want to go .. but it is soooooo good so far not having 2 weeks of every month destroyed by something so allegedly natural. How do we know that God isn't a woman? Periods!

Cheri said...

I've been having those thoughts more than normal too over the last week. And 2 days ago I started my period so....I'm going to say that it is more than likely due to good ol' Aunt Flo visiting. Not that things are hunky dorey or whatever but I'm normally not so freaking dramatic about all the WHEN WILL IT ALL END type thoughts.

John D said...

I sure hope you're better by now - and those impulsive thoughts don't come back! I know what you mean about wanting to drop everything and move to a great place. Actually, I've done that a few times and have to say, with la, that it doesn't work - at all. Would be great though if all the bad stuff could be left behind buried somewhere in the place you've left.

All my best to you -- John

Jessica said...

I know what you mean about starting work and being sick!
I'm feeling the same way too and hoping they won't think the worst of me.

Jessica said...

I know what you mean about starting work and being sick!
I'm feeling the same way too and hoping they won't think the worst of me.

 
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