Thursday, January 22, 2009

Prozac and Interview Outfits (Sunshine Would be Better)

I have had a headache all day and wonder if it could be a side effect of the Prozac I've started taking. If you've taken Prozac in the past, have you experienced this? It's not just a headache, but also I have this clinching, or tight sensation in my jaw. Very strange and hopefully it will go away soon.
I'm at work today and have been trying to work all morning. It's been quite difficult due to this headache and my mind is all over the place. Focusing is an Olympic challenge and so far I'm not scoring any gold medals. My job is highly technical and my brain is highly inept at the moment.
Last night after work I went shopping and purchased something to wear for the interview tomorrow. I only have one business suit that I wear to interviews, or I'll scrounge it out of the closet when running out of clean clothes. It's funny because in the past people would ask if I was going to the interview when I wore it to the office. I would always laugh and say, "No, I've ran out of clean clothes and pulled it out". I thought I would get the same Tuesday but no one asked this time. I was happy they didn't because I have an "open book" face and even if I said "No" they may have perceived differently.
When discovering that I need to go back for another interview tomorrow I freaked out because my other work clothes are business casual and aren't great enough for an interview with a VP. I thought about wearing the same suit with a different shirt but worry that the first lady I interviewed with would notice. So, last night I went looking and found something very nice to wear that I can also wear again in the office no matter where I work. Friday is "Jeans Day" at work and am sure people will wonder why I'm not in jeans, but I'm not too worried.
A few posts ago (and I can't find it right now because I'm actually e-mailing this post versus writing it in Blogger), I mentioned how my supervisor wasn't very happy about me losing time from work. Basically, the conversation ended when I said that we could stop having lunch for awhile since people were talking that she may be exhibiting favoritism towards me and she sounded relieved and said that she thought it would be for the best. Today she asked if I wanted to go eat lunch together tomorrow. I told her that I couldn't but would next week. I didn't tell her that I have an interview at 11:00am tomorrow. She has no idea that I've been interviewing. I've not told anyone but you and my husband. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone until I get the job. If I don't get it, no one will be the wiser.
She seemed a bit miffed that I wouldn't go to lunch with her tomorrow and I could tell that she was curious why I wasn't, but oh well. This all feels so elementary and childish. I can't wait to get the hell out of this work environment. I absolutely hate what I do and have to say I'm quite sad about how things happened with her. Don't get me wrong, it's a job here and if I'm not at work and you need to fire me because I'm sick and can't be there, go ahead. I get it. But, don't start acting all weird and not be able to separate the personal and professional relationship. Don't chide me and say that it might be best not to go to lunch together for a while and five days later ask if I want to go.
With my mind swirling around like the butterflies in my stomach, I hope like hell I can do well in this interview. I hope I won't be like a deer in headlights when asked a question and I stumble around mumbling. I found out last night from a friend who works there that the VP I'm interviewing with went around to all of the people who I used to work with in the past who work there now (about six people) asking them all about me. The guy sure is putting a lot of time into learning more about me, especially considering he is a VP and his time is much more valuable than that.
I am nervous, nervous, nervous. I will get through it. At least I'll look nice if I fumble. Maybe he'll look at my outstanding new outfit and forgive me if I do.


alittlebird said...

Sounds like they're very interested! There's nothing wrong with being nervous, just acknowledge it and move on. If you start to blank during the interview you can always say something like "I'm a little nervous"'ll dissipate some of the anxiety and keep things rolling.

Think about Honey Bunny...picture her little face while you're sitting there in the office waiting room.

You can do it!

Da Old Man said...

Good luck

Karen ^..^ said...

It is a good idea to break the ice and say that you are a bit nervous, due to your desire for the job. That way they know it means a lot to you.

You'll do fine. It does sound as if they are interested, and I hope you get the job, so much, because you deserve a leg up. Maybe it will break this cycle you've been in. Part of depression; a huge part, is being unhappy in the work place. You are there such a large percent of your waking life, so if such a large percent is miserable, then it spirals down from there.

Good luck, I know you will do great!

Media Junkie said...

best of luck!

Wandering Coyote said...

I took P-zac for a while when I was a teen and it make me nauseated and ill and I had to go off it.

Good luck with the interview!

Laura said...

I wish you the very best of luck with your interview.

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