Just got back from the second interview and am now back in the office of Hell. While sitting in the interview this morning it felt entirely refreshing to see a company who actually cares about quality, cares about their employees, and wants to do things right the first time. Not only that, the people there are highly intelligent. I enjoy working for highly intelligent people because you can always learn something from them. For the last two years I felt like I've worked with do-do brains. I am not badmouthing anyone, but a lot of people here just don't make sense.
I haven't even blogged about my experiences at work because I never saw a point in it. It just fed my depression. Not that I don't feed my depression enough with all of these depressing posts, but at least I'm trying to be cathartic about it when blogging. I can't be very cathartic about it when talking about my present job because there's not much to be changed about it other than the job itself.
There are six people at the place I interviewed at today who I used to work with years ago. One of them I worked with six years ago at one company while the other five I worked with 13 years ago at another company. I love all of them. I enjoyed working with all of them. It's wonderful to be with them and I realized yesterday why. These people think that I do great work. They worked with me for years in the past and know what I am capable of. They knew me before the claws of depression sinked it's claws firmly into the middle of my soul. Don't get me wrong. I've always had depression, even as a child. It's just that I was able to mask it very well in the past and could always manage it. If these people knew that I had depression they would be shocked. They think that I am positive, outgoing, nurturing (the 5-person group that knew me used to call me a "mother hen"), and can get any job done before the deadline. They don't know the "sick Catherine". They don't know me as the girl who is constantly having terrible depressive episodes, horrible PMS and who gets some type of mental or physical illness all of the time. They know me as the "healthy Catherine" and what a refreshing way to be known once again!
I am worried that if I do get the job my depression will still be bad and it will affect my performance and attendance. I don't want to let these people down. I don't want to let myself down. I am hoping that if I do get the job and if the job is what I think it is, I will finally enjoy what I do and that will make a huge difference in my mental and emotional state.
The interview went very well, I didn't stumble in answering any questions, and actually, it was....fun. Very odd, really because I didn't expect it to be. I really enjoyed myself and it was great meeting the two people I interviewed with today. Now I am more excited about getting the job than I was before. That can be a bad thing because the more excited you are, the further you can fall if it doesn't pan out. I am concerned about the pay. They haven't said anything about it just yet and I don't expect them to. If they are interested in me someone in HR will contact me and then we'll go through that discussion. I have no idea what they are expecting to pay and if what I make is comparable to it. In my last job interview a few months ago they wouldn't pay what I currently make by a lot and I couldn't take the job. I hope this doesn't occur again.
The last thing they said at the interview while I shook their hand was, "We'll be in contact very soon". Is that a good thing? What do you think?
10 comments:
I think it is good that some of the people there have worked with you as they may have put in a good word on your behalf.
Do you think that working where you are now, in a negative environment, is not a bit of a trigger for your depression?
You may have to take a pay cut - at least a bit. Wait and see what is on offer from them. Keep in mind that you will be on the payroll with more benefits etc. Don't they tell you the package during the interview?
Good luck.
Sounds like a very positive interview to me. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.
If they want you enough, and it sounds like they just might (it all appears to be very positive), then I'm sure they'll pay you at least what you're earning, if not more.
The best thing is to have no expectations (if you can) then whatever happens won't crush you or make you dizzy or whatever!
Personally I think it sounds like you're in with a very good chance.
I have my fingers crossed for you :)
It sounds positive. I wish you the best.
I think it's a very positive sign! Crossing my fingers for you!
Sounds like you had a very good interview. The last question I like to ask at an interview is "Do you see any reason you would not hire me" or "What is the next step in the process". Either one of these questions force the interviewer to be honest with you about how it went.
Be careful not to pin your hopes of making your depression better on this job. While a change in environment could help, it is not the cure. We must be careful to understand that you possess all that you need to help yourself, getting better is not out there somewhere, it is internal to you.
it certainly sounds positive. Changing your job won't automatically cure your depression, but it sounds like your current job is feeding your depression and a new one would at least give you a fresh start.
fingers and toes are crossed!
Sounds like you gave it the best you could, and for you to have derived some fun out of the process was pretty darn great of you.
Remember, whether or not you get the job (and I am really pulling for you that you do) how you stepped up to the plate, placed aside your fears, set your depression aside, and went in and gave it your best. That alone is so admirable, in my book. good for you!
Oh yes, it is good to be known as "well person" again. I'm glad the interview went well for you! Way to go!
I've given you an award. Stop by my blog to pick it up.
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