I'm tired and I want to go to bed....
Don't try to wake me in the morning cause I will be gone.
Don't feel bad for me.....
I want you to know...
Deep in the cell of my heart I really want to go.
This song from the Smiths keeps echoing through my brain.
I just want to go to bed and never wake up.
I realize this is the depression digging deeper roots. It really doesn't want to let me go. At least someone (thing?) likes me, I guess.
I am at work. Haven't missed any time. I am trying to manage. Don't want to repeat this vicious cycle.
I am a hamster in the wheel of depression....and a fat one at that.
2 comments:
Here's what I do... When I'm down and I start listening to Morrisey... I start poking fun at the lyrics and laughing about how utterly emo he is, and change them up so it sounds like he's so full of this existential angst from pooping his pants in public or some such thing. Then it makes me feel better, and I start to feel ridiculous for being blue while listening to him.
You've got a great sense of humor. Use it to your advantage, girl!!!
And it is high time you became a sarcastic bitch toward your husband.
Rabbit,
Maybe a good walk during lunch time so let your thoughts roll and get out of your head. Treat yourself to a treat i.e. an ice cream cone. Sometimes making those little treats a secret makes your world a bit more bareable cause no one can take those little happy moments away from you.
Depression sucks man! It can eat you up if you are not careful. If you need to cry, steal away somewhere and let it go. Cry your heart out. You really will feel better. You can go to the car, the bathroom, the closet, crying is good for you physcially. It won't "fix" things, but you will feel better afterwards.
As everyone knows me in the blog world, take a long, hot bubble bath. Just soak and cry or whatever while in the water. If not a bath person, a hot shower. It will really help you to relax. Then pop in a good movie.
Another favorite of mine is to listen to more positive music. I usually go with jazz because it doesn't have any words. It's just music for me to put whatever I want to it.
Most of all, remember, depression takes time to go away, especially if whatever is causing the depression is still going on. Be patient with yourself. You're having a tough time.
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