Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Looking, Looking

Every day is spent looking for a job. Nothing has happened, yet. I've been out of work for two weeks.

Tonight I am drinking wine again.

Don't know what to say. I need to blog because it does help. Forcing myself to blog tonight though I just don't know what to say.

I have been trying hard to not let the depression rear it's diabolical head again.These past two days it's been difficult. I don't want to get out of bed, but am forcing myself to.

I am trying to find a reason to continue in life.

I don't know what else to say.

16 comments:

Stephany said...

Just one day at a time, it's hard, but you'll get through it. Last summer my bankruptcy felt like it knocked the wind out of me, and i'm still here. :)

Queenneenee said...

I am so happy to hear that you're not staying in bed all day. Good job forcing yourself, do whatever it takes. I am pulling for you, as are others.

Anonymous Drifter said...

It's hard to talk when you're feeling so low. Really bad times can render us speechless. Hang in there Chunks. Things WILL get better. Work will eventually come along.

Immi said...

*hugs* I'm so sorry. Stephany is right, though... one day at a time.

GirlBlue said...

the main thing is not to worry too much about this, its only been two weeks, things don't happen immediately most times. Be strong and be confident that this is but one door that has closed and another even better one will open up for you. I believe it, I believe in you

HappyStill said...

I've been so busy trying to keep myself one step ahead of the pack that I haven't checked in with you. I am so sorry about your job. when the shock wears off you will feel better able to get your mojo back.
In the meantime, take it from me .. YOU ARE NO LOSER.
You are an inspiration.. you are a strong woman .. you are a star..and you will find your way back even though you feel tired now. As the others say, take one day at a time
Keep in touch
xxx

John FW said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about this - I know, despite what I know, that it's a rare, probably imaginary, person who can separate a sense of self-worth from performance on the job. I know the pain of that so well - but it's also true that you aren't your job and you're not your depression. In January I lost my primary source of income as a part-time contractor at the same place I had worked before retiring. In my case, it freed up a lot of energy to pour into new projects - but before that got going I felt just as bad as you've been feeling. I hope you can get out of that dark place soon.

Total 360 hugs!!!

Love -- John

Daisy said...

rooting for you!

man, I haven't been here in a while. had my own issues too. may mention them sometime. XD

I miss you too! I've thought about you through all the months of not blogging and you're one of the people I miss.

all I can say is hang in there. there's got to be something sometime. and yes, just take it a day at a time. I'll be praying for you.

my new blog's still going through some kinks but will send you the address when I get it.

Karen ^..^ said...

I think a visit to see me is definitely in order!!! I can do your hair (look better, feel better) and then we can have dinner and some wine! Sounds awesome!!

During this time, treat yourself well, with as many fun things as possible. Go to the beach (free) at sunset. Take beautiful pictures and share them with us on your blog. Find the beauty around you and take pictures of it using your own unique perspective. Life doesn't seem too hopeless when you see what beauty there is around us, and you make art out of it.

Take a candlelight bubble bath... meditate and clear your mind. Do yoga. Deep breathing really does help, it helps me, and trust me, there are few out there that tell more negative stories to themselves than me. Do a series of relaxing things for yourself that you wouldn't normally do. and come visit!!

The backspace key is my friend, too, LOL.

Ellen said...

Sorry you are feeling so bad Chunks. It can be hard to communicate when you feel like cr**. The thing i would add to what's been said is that I'm a contractor also, and being suddenly let go is par for the course, unfortunately. As soon as the budget gets rough for a company, contractors will be cut. It also happened to me last August. I no longer take it personally though. It really is not about us. You could be the most awesome individual they've ever hired, but when the budget goes south, you're out of there. Really, you could be Albert Einstein, they wouldn't care.
Take care, Ellen

Immi said...

*peeks* How are you doing Chunks? Good, bad, ugly, I'd like to hear from you and I bet a bunch of others would.
*hugs*

HappyStill said...

yeah..Immi's right. Would love to hear from you. Stay strong and stay safe xx

HappyStill said...

hope things are getting better. Keep in touch and stay strong x

HappyStill said...

Hi honey.. I am checking in still. Hope things are getting better for you. Look after yourself x

Chunks of Reality said...

Thank you everyone. I haven't even checked my blog in forever. Just too much on my mind and I can't get it out.

Thank you all for your support. It means so very much to me.

*hugs to you all*

Colby said...

Millions of Americans are suffering from adult and adolescent depression. Silver Hill Hospital has clinicians trained in evaluation, diagnosis and treatment and provides hope for people who may not have been getting the right care. Talking/blogging about mental illness can be extremely helpful not just for yourself, but for others in need.

 
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