Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Window to my Soul

Today I was in a team status meeting at work and noticed that two people stared at me quite a bit. This doesn't usually occur and I wondered if there was something between my teeth, something in my hair or anything that would cause their curiosity. As I left, one of the people asked how I was doing. I said "Fine", smiled and walked to the bathroom.

For the first time in a while I actually looked at myself to see what could be wrong. Nothing was in my hair or teeth and nothing was protruding from my forehead to cause concern. I continued to look and then noticed my eyes and was shocked.

They look dead.

It looks like they have a muted expression and depression is screaming out of their orbs. Even the skin around my eyes is dark, which is not usual at all. One of my best features is my eyes, not only for the color, but also the expression they continually radiate. They are truly the window to my soul. Right now I think my soul is broken. It's black and my eyes reflect no light or joy.

It is quite surreal to see. I knew something broke inside of me last night. I felt it mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I wonder if my husband will notice it tonight.


Laura said...

(((Chunks))) Sometimes I look back at pictures of myself when I was going through a nervous breakdown. I can see the depths of depression in my eyes so I know what you're talking about.

Immi said...

*hugs* I'm sorry you're having such a hard time Chunks. Wish I could help.

Chunks of Reality said...

AD - I know exactly what you mean! Isn't it strange how our eyes change during our lifetime.

Immi - Thank you dear. *hugs*

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