Sunday, March 1, 2009

Finally Able to Blog

Since ramping down on the old job and starting the new job I haven't had much time to get on the internet lately. I was at work my last day working until 6:20pm! On my last day at other jobs I worked maybe a half day or at the latest 3:00pm, but there were things I had to accomplish prior to leaving and I worked all the way to the end. Afterwards they had a going away party for me and we went out. It was a complete blast. I didn't get home until 3:00am! Those folks sure know how to have a good time and are quite serious about having fun. It was very nice to go out with them and the turnout of people was a very nice surprise. Some people I never imaged showed up and it did make me feel good.

I had a few days off and then started the new job. What a massive difference in environment! There isn't a lot of turnover at the new job and some employees have been there for 20 to 30 years. That says a lot about the company and I completely understand why after being there a few days. First off, my cube is more like an office. I even have a plant in it. Everything was completely organized and ready for me to start. I had several meetings scheduled with various employees to learn more about the company. I have a laptop and my desk chair is oh so comfortable. It even has a footrest which looks like a triangle that you put your feet up on in an incline and I love it. Coffee machines are everywhere with REAL coffee beans that you grind prior to making coffee. They actually have liquid and flavored coffee creamers. When you walk around the office you don't feel a huge sense of stress emanating from the employees. If anything it's like a second home. It's obvious that they want to set you up for success and I am pleased as punch to be there. At my last job my feet sat on computer cables and wires all the time and there was no room to even extend your legs!

Where I'm working now is downtown, which I love because it means it's easy to walk around town for some exercise or a quick lunch. People who I worked with years ago are there and it's absolutely wonderful to work with them all again. They are excited that I'm there and it makes me feel good.

There is one thing, though. OF COURSE I had to get sick when I first started. I woke up the night before I started with a horrible sore throat. My daughter had been sick a few days before and it started with a sore throat for her. I went to work the first two days hacking and coughing and feeling terrible. I took a lot of over-the-counter cold medicine and continued to get worse. It finally got to the point that I was having high fevers and could hardly talk without coughing. I went to the doctor and got antibiotics. My new manager was also sick and I never saw her the first week. She called me after I had left several voicemails for her saying to rest up and not worry about missing work after just starting. She said that the way I sounded was terrible and she would rather me not come into the office like that. She was really nice about it all, but damn it, why did I have to get sick when I first started the job?

It reminds me of years ago when I was in my early 20's. I started a job and was sick as a dog on my first day of work. I didn't want to call in sick and went to work anyway. As my new manager was showing me around the office, I felt like I was going to vomit and quickly asked where the bathroom was. As she told me, I felt the bile force itself up and started running down the hallway towards where she said a bathroom was located. I ended up not making it to the bathroom and throwing up all over my hands (as I tried to catch it all), my clothes and the carpet. I almost passed out afterwards from being so sick. I was deathly embarrassed and the manager ended up driving me home because she was scared for me to drive myself. It was terrible.

For some reason when I start a new job I always get sick the first day or two. I never put two and two together until calling my Mom about being sick now and she said, "Why do you and I always get sick when we start a new job?". I then started remembering other new jobs and she's right!

Now, I have to tell another story that I just remembered and this is quite gross, so stop reading if you get grossed out easily.

A few years ago when starting a new job I had been there for a day or two. I had a Yorkshire Terrier dog that slept with me. One night I woke up to this horrible smell, turned over on my pillow and something rank and quite indescribable coated my lips, side of my face and hair. I jumped up, cut on the light and you will never believe what was on my pillow. Diarrhea from my dog! For some reason he got sick in the night, did not jump off the bed and got sick on my pillow. It was all in my hair, face and MOUTH! I threw up from it and afterwards became violently sick for three days. I couldn't eat or anything. It was terrible. Shit is not something you want to taste, let me tell ya.

I feel sick now just thinking about it. I still can't believe it happened.

I have been in bed all weekend with upper respiratory infection/cold junk. I've been taking antibiotics, stuff for congestion and cough. The fevers are what have been getting me. They just tire you out. Today I am finally feeling better, but feel I need just one more day to rest. The weather is completely nasty here. Dreadfully cold and wet. They are calling for three to five inches of snow tonight. The local schools have already sent announcements that they will be closed tomorrow. My daughter is so excited and is spending the night with a friend tonight. I can't believe the schools have already said they will be closed when we haven't even seen one drop of snow and only rain. I actually hope that it does snow like the meteorologist says so that my office will be closed tomorrow and I can rest one more day. If not, I will go into the office anyway. If it does snow I hope the office will close because people don't know how to drive around here with a little ice. I remember one year when there was a 20-something car pile-up while sleeting.

Ohhhh...let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Six Weird Things About MeMe

John tagged me in a meme where I am to write a blog post of six weird things about myself, choose six people to be tagged and list their names.

First off, regarding the people I'm tagging, let's just say that I'm tagging you right at this moment while you are reading this post. That's right, you can't get away, you can't do anything but go to your blog, write your own meme and let me know that you did so I can learn more about you.

So, on to the six weird things about myself. I guess they are weird. It really depends upon what you define as weirdness, but here we go:

  1. When I was a child my cousins and I used to stay at my Granny's house for the summer. They had a farm and we had a blast every year. We were like wild monkeys cavorting around and God bless my Granny's soul that she put up with us. While staying there we would pour handfuls of salt into the palm of our hand until a giant pyramid was created and would walk around the house licking it. I have no clue why.
  2. We would also go to the bathroom and then afterwards suck on a lemon and push in our bellybutton with our index finger and move it all around. For some reason it made us want to go to the bathroom again even though we just went (it still works.....yes...I tried it again...and when I say "go to the bathroom", I mean #1).
  3. I don't like to mix my food. When I have a plate of various foods, I always keep everything separated and eat one thing at one time. So, if I have turkey, macaroni and cheese and beans (I'm thinking about Thanksgiving for some reason), I will eat the mac first, beans second and turkey last. I don't know why.
  4. I am highly habitual and can get into habits way too easily. For example, once I went to a coffee shop with my husband. We then went the next night. The night afterwards I felt that I had to go again and get another coffee. It was like my day was not complete without it. It went on for a year until I finally broke myself of it. Right now I'm having the same problem with sushi. You can buy it at our local grocery store and the salmon sushi with cream cheese is to die for and I am going to try my best not to go there tonight to get it for dinner. I hate this side of myself.
  5. I have a fetish for hand lotions, antibacterial hand gels, etc. In fact, I have a basket at work with loads of them in there. I am always putting them on to smell a different scent. It's not about being worried about bacteria. It's about the smell. In fact, I'll put some "Winter Candy Apple" antibacterial hand gel from Bath and Body Works on right now while I'm thinking about it. Egad, it smells GREAT. It's a sickness.
  6. When I go somewhere I drive the same way and change lanes at the same spot on the interstate. I don't feel right if I don't do this. I guess this ties in with number four above now that I think about it. Do we have a little OCD going on, I wonder? I do think I have the tendencies. Oh, and God help me if I go somewhere new. I invariably get lost and consistently make the wrong turn when I'm leaving. It's a pain. I really need a GPS lady telling me where to go. The world would be safer from me, that's for sure.
Alright, bare your souls and get writing! I can't wait to learn more about you.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

To Consume and Be Consumed

I just want to eat and drink and do anything I can do. My addictive personality is really coming out right now and it's scary as shit. I've had a half of bottle of wine. Last night I had the first half. It's nice to have a buzz. Anything is better than reality. My husband is not happy. His depression is really bad right now. I don't feel married and feel quite alone.

This isn't me. I don't do this. It's times like this that I know I could be an alcoholic and a junkie. That is why I've never judged other addicts. Just because I'm not an alcoholic or drug user doesn't mean I'm not an addict. Oh, I am and tonight I feel the fire of the addiction burning into my soul.

I just want to ingest everything...food..alcohol...anything...everything. I've never felt it so very strong until tonight. At this moment I just want to consume and be consumed. My soul is a shell and needs to be filled with....something. What, I don't know.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Yawning and Quirkiness

I am quite tired lately and not sure why. It seems that I yawn 24/7 and it doesn't matter how much sleep I get I'm still tired. Could it be the Prozac? One reason why I don't like taking new meds is because any changes you may experience you question yourself if it could be the medication or something else.
This past weekend I went with my cousin, her daughter and my daughter to the beach to visit my other cousin (my cousin's sister). It was great fun and I realized how important it is to get out of your hometown sometimes. It gives you a much needed change of perspective. I told my husband that we need to get out of town together this weekend. So, though I don't know where we are going, we are going somewhere and I can't wait to get out of here.
Right now my house is a mess. It's organized, but just dirty. I haven't been home much and haven't had the time to clean like I need to. When I have been home I've been too tired to do it. It gets on my nerves to see it like this because my Type A personality kicks in and kicks my butt about it, but I'm just too tired to do anything about it. Isn't that bad?
I am cycling through feelings of caring and not caring. I feel restless and am jostling my foot as I write this. I want to stop working where I am. I hate what I do every day here and can't wait to start the new job. Yet at the same time I don't want to work at all and wish I could just be a stay-at-home Mom. That would be so lovely.
I am going to try and clean house tonight. And wash clothes. There is a mountain to wash at the moment. I wish my husband and daughter would see what needs to be done and pitch in instead of waiting for me to say, "Let's clean house!". Ugh...my husband won't help right now anyway. He is overwhelmed with work and school and has been quite depressed lately. I won't ask him to do a thing.
This post is absolutely boring me to tears, so I'll end here. I apologize if you read this far. I'm in a quirky mood today.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Eternal Sunshine

I continue to feel better mentally. It has to be attributed to the Prozac that was newly prescribed. I have always had a low-level depression biting my heels even on "good days", but I don't even have that now. Not only that, I am actually sleeping well with no assistance from Ambien. I am getting tired around 10:00pm, go to sleep, sleep through the night and wake up at a good time. It is amazing to me that this is occurring when remembering how not long ago I would go night after night with no sleep.
Could all of this be the Prozac? Does it really give "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? (love that movie, by the way)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Letter of Resignation

Dear -manager name-,

Per our conversation this afternoon, please accept my two-week resignation effective today. My last day will be Wednesday, February 18, 2009. I feel very fortunate to have been associated with -company name- for the last two years. My experiences and training have been invaluable, and I leave with many pleasant memories.

I am more than happy to assist with all transition activities and will work with -supervisor name, or as John referred to as "officious little shit of a boss"- on what she needs from me during this time.

I wish the company and all its employees much success in this project and in the coming years.

Warmest regards,

Catherine

Spoiled Rotten

It is abnormally cold this morning. I let my cat out before going to work and she immediately wanted to get back inside of the house. I shooed her back out, got my things together and jumped in the car to go to work. My car showed it was 20 degrees Fahrenheit (-6.6 degrees Celsius), which stopped me in my tracks. I stopped the car and went back inside to let the cat back in the house. No wonder she wanted to get back in! It is freezing! I then went to my daughter to see if she wanted me to give her a ride to the bus stop since it is so cold and what do I find her wearing? A thin top layered on top of another thin top with her pajama bottoms and flip flops. Let's not forget to mention she was painting her toes black as I walked in her room. Right now in our area teenagers are wearing pajama bottoms to school. The pajama bottoms are the long wooly-type pants. My daughter has never done this before, but I just bought her a new set of pj's and now she's wearing them to school.
My first reaction was to tell her to change clothes. I then decided to approach it from a different angle and told her that it is 20 degrees outside and she's going to freeze. That didn't perturb her one bit. She said that it would be no problem and she would be OK. I then wanted to tell her to change clothes and then she said that just in case she had a pair of jeans in her bag to take to school. My mind then went to war going back and forth between should I tell her to change clothes or not and then I realized, her body isn't hanging out, everything is covered appropriately, I may not want her to wear pajama bottoms to school, but all the kids are doing it and if this is the one fashion she wants to copy from the other teens, it's not a bad one. So, I bit my tongue and asked her if she wanted a ride. I have to admit that since the pajama bottoms are cute, she did look quite stylish. It will be fun when she gets older and I can pick on her about this and tell her children when they complain to me that their Mom won't let them wear what they want. In fact, I'm going to take a picture of her when I get home for evidence in future years.
I rode the elevator after getting to work with a lady who is a cleaner in my office. She is a young girl and we talked about how cold it is outside. She told me that she literally ran to work because it was so cold. I asked if she liked running and she said that she didn't have a choice because she doesn't have a car. Hearing this just stopped me in my tracks. I live in an area where there are no public modes of transportation and you really need a car to get around, which is why I thought she enjoyed running because I couldn't imagine she would walk to work. People just don't do that here. As I walked to my desk I realized how lucky I am and how grateful I should be.
Here I am with a thick coat, perfumed neck, nails done, nice purse, walking to my desk because I have a job. I drove to work in a car that not only displayed the temperature outside, but heated my butt as I drove because it has seat warmers. I left a house that is warm enough that my cat wanted to get back inside, with beautiful mosaic floors my husband made and a bedroom that my husband worked on that was considered beautiful enough to be in a magazine. My house has a pool, two sweet dogs, three bedrooms and two baths. There is even one bedroom we don't use because we don't need it. My husband has a studio that is 800 square feet and is part of the house that he can work in at his leisure. Thinking about all of this really made me realize something (and please excuse my language):
I need to shut the fuck up and quit whining about whether I get this job or not and whether it's 8K less or not.
I just need to be quiet.
I am damn lucky in my life.
Why does it take seeing a girl who has a more difficult life to snap myself out of this negativity concerning this job? I have been whining like a broken record and I need to just STOP IT. I recently heard that 100,000 jobs were lost just this past week in the US. Two million have been cut since January. Yesterday I also heard that they are going to be laying off people here at work. In fact, most of the contractors will be gone by April or May. That means in this small area a lot of people will be looking for work and the local market will be congested with people looking for a job. At least, AT LEAST I have something in the works. AT LEAST there is a company that wants me to work for them and we only have to go through this legality of my contract company. AT LEAST this company has experienced no negative effects from this upside-down economy and if anything, gave their employees a bonus of 5K or more just a few weeks ago! That is unheard of in these times!
So I just need to shut up! I am SPOILED AS SHIT! What a whiner I am! I do apologize. I'm glad I came to my senses. It is about damn time.

 
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